Miss Grays Harbor for Dummies

The famous words are " there she is... Miss America"... that's not exactly how it goes when you become Miss Grays Harbor, let me tell ya. But you might be surprised at how close our title holder really is to being the Miss America, or at least on a good day, just feeling like her. A long time ago, I realized that many people in our community don't really know what it means to be a Miss Grays Harbor title holder. They aren't sure who she is, what she does, or even why she exists. I am here to break it down for you, or at least give you my inside interpretation and a sort of guide book that I may have wanted a few years back. This is "Miss Grays Harbor For Dummies."

In the 2012 local competition we have six, yes, six competitors on the local level. Meaning, the MAO, i.e. Miss America Organization, is a grass roots kind of gig (state and national are a whole other bag of monkeys).

The Miss Grays Harbor Organization will be doling out a total of $6,000 in scholarship at tonight's event with the theme "female empowerment." Our local ladies this year are: Meghan Anderson, Claire Brunke, Jessy Finlayson, Melissa Hornback, Shaylene Kelley, and Lacey Tacket, none of whom I have had the pleasure of meeting, sadly, but all good gals my sources tell me.

These women will compete in several phases of competition to win the Miss Grays Harbor title:
Lifestyle and Fitness in Swimsuit - 15%,
Evening Wear - 20%,
Talent - 35%,
On-Stage Question – 5%
Private Interview - 25%

It's all well and good to spell it out like that, and you may even think you see how a queen is chosen, but as my dad would say, "what the hell does anyone care about all that for?"

My dad was schooled for over 20 years in all this stuff (and all of you are getting off pretty easy by reading, or pretending to peruse this article).

Why does the MAO put clout in certain areas verses others? We'll see as we begin to break it down. Or we may become way more confused.

"Lifestyle and Fitness in Swimsuit" means nothing of what it says. It's just Fitness in Swimsuit. Lifestyle... that makes me laugh. What exactly is your "lifestyle" in swimsuit? Ok, I get what they are trying to say... fitness is a lifestyle... or it should be, but... I was fortunate enough to win swimsuit three times in my career and, in my opinion, only once was it because of the fitness...so I am guessing the other times I won because of the "lifestyle?"

Evening Wear. It is, after all, a pageant. Although, I can tell you that during my year wearing a gown wasn't as high a priority as fending off an overzealous circus clown at Logger's Playday. That, my friends, is a priority.

Talent is really where we start to see the meat and potatoes of the program and it's worth the largest percentage of your overall score. I don't just say this because I, myself make my living as a performer. Miss Grays Harbor will be asked to perform her talent on many occasions. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. I'd say the easy way is a vocalist. You may think I say this, again, because I happen to be one. However, indulge me. I'll make my point. It gets a bit trickier when you dance or play piano because floors can be slippery or your piano out of tune, but just imagine this:

You are at a fundraiser for a children's food pantry. The title holder enters the room, and of course you are taken with her because she is beautiful and smiling. She may even be wearing her crown.

Ooh, shiny.

Then you notice she is wearing some sort of costume and carrying a big...stick.

"What does she plan to do?" Ahh, you soon realize she is a baton twirler. God save the queen! And let's hope for the absence of fire. She proceeds to throw her batons and hit people in the crowd, there are gasps and shudders that no one is going to forget until tomorrow way after lunch sometime. You think, perhaps I am making this up or that I have a beef with a baton twirler. Quite the contrary, my mother was a baton twirler (a very good one.. who used fire) but my point here is that not every "talent" can be done everywhere the titleholder is doing her job, which of course, is being a spokesperson and goodwill ambassador. It can in actually impede the process. Choose wisely.

Your ability to speak is key. I know this because there were more than a few times when I found this point hit home. Being able to speak in front of a crowd is such a wonderful skill to acquire early in life because you find more often than not that you will need it in the future. Now, we can't all be Miss Teen South Carolina, and gain national recognition for our blunders, but in a small town no one forgets. This is actually one of the skills that most girls are thankful that they learned through this program.

On Stage Question ties in with what most believe, as the most influential portion of the competition: Interview. This can be a horror show for some and an incredibly enlightening experience for others. And unless you have the lucky fortune to be a stay-at-home mom/dad you will have an interview in your lifetime. Now that I think about it, maybe you're not as lucky as I thought stay at home parents. I haven't met a parent yet that say their child at one time or another isn't constantly judging them. So possibly, it's just a long drawn out interview that you are unprepared for. I digress. Title holders are always speaking with people, in every scenario. Formal or informal settings, it can run the gamut. So, when you put your beans in a basket, this is the one to throw them in.

And after all of this do we really know what Miss Grays Harbor does or who she is? I have told you some funny stories and made quips about things I have seen or heard, but no one can ever really tell you what a Miss Grays Harbor is, except for your Miss Grays Harbor. She is never really defined except for the people she serves. For the men in her life she is the smile that lights up the room... the reason they are missing opening day of hunting season... or the reason they had to iron their good shirt. (I know Grays Harbor men!) For the ladies in their life, she is the reason they are up sewing until 3:30am and searching Staples for poster board (thank God for that raise).

So, ladies, to you I wish the best of luck tonight. On another night, with another set of judges, there could be a very different outcome. Only one will win and I hope that for even a brief time you have your Miss America moment. I know that the experience alone is what matters in retrospect. Someday, if not now, I hope you will come to learn that as well. KDUX's Pat Anderson will tell you "you can't always get what you want, you get what you need." Oh, how true that is.

-Guest post provided by former Miss Grays Harbor Elise Rooker. Elise also earned the title of Miss Staten Island and currently lives in New York, working as an actor.