Ugly Christmas Sweaters

At one point,they were just considered Christmas Sweaters. I know, it baffles me too. Who actually liked wearing the tacky knitted scenes we see on thrift store racks and late night QVC? How did enveloping yourself in an array of iron-on Christmas images become a great way to show off your holiday spirit? Who knows. Not me. But someone (probably women over 50) at some point (I'm guessing 1980-1994) enjoyed it, and to them I say thank you. Why? Because they've given our generation the greatest gift of the season: another excuse to party!
Yes, the Ugly Christmas Sweater has been a party-theme favorite since people realized that, well, their beloved seasonal sweaters were actually incredibly ugly (I'd say 1995). And as I make final preparations for my ugly Christmas outfit for tonight's shindig, I thought I would share my five favorite types of holiday sweater:

1) The Scene Sweater. It's like a Christmas card you can wear. Which is great for me because I always forget to send cards anyway.

2) The Hodge Podge Sweater. The one with the most Christmas crammed in is clearly the most spirited person.

3) The 3D Sweater. Covered in real live holiday flotsam. An excellent choice for the tactile person.

4) The Slight Disconnect Sweater. Santa's lassoing a cactus, or reindeer are swimming. You don't really know what's going on, but Christmas is in there somewhere.

5) The Vest & Turtleneck: A Sophisticated Sweater Alternative. Or a great choice for those who can't have just one pattern.

And this, my friends, is the choice I'm going with tonight! I will be sporting a lovely holiday vest with turtleneck, both in the 'holly' pattern. I know you're jealous. Just wait until you see my poinsettia headband.

I hope to see you all at the Harborena at 7pm in your finest holiday fashion faux pas! Remember, it's $10 at the door and it includes your skate rental!