I know what you're thinking, and I second guessed it myself, but I Googled it AND searched Wikipedia. It's true. 100%. For real. In honor of this invention, the miracle that is the ugly sweater and Christmas, we're throwing a party, nay, an extravaganza. It's appropriately titled, "Ugly Sweaters & Roller Skates Holiday Extravaganza." Pretty clever, eh?
If you'd like to attend this extravaganza (I know you do), join us at the Haborena, Thursday, December 22, from 7pm-9pm. $10. I guarantee there will be roller skates, ugly sweaters (prize for the ugliest sweater!), awesome music, food and beverages. I predict there will be laughter, falling, the Funky Chicken, the Hokey Pokey, and Chuck Norris dressed as Santa Claus. The last one was predicted by a nice, completely sane and sober, individual I encountered in a dark bar at 1am. They admitted they weren't Nostradamus but claimed to have eaten a piece of toast that matched his image - and that's good enough for me.
Anyway, I can promise it will be a good time. After the extravaganza, to celebrate the massive success of the "Ugly Sweaters & Roller Skates Holiday Extravaganza," we invite you to join us at a secret location. Hint: this location is the perfect place to encounter the kind of nice, completely sane and sober, people I mentioned earlier. Second hint: alcohol heals all roller skate related wounds and bruising. Hope to see you there!!!!
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