Ugly Christmas Sweaters

At one point,they were just considered Christmas Sweaters. I know, it baffles me too. Who actually liked wearing the tacky knitted scenes we see on thrift store racks and late night QVC? How did enveloping yourself in an array of iron-on Christmas images become a great way to show off your holiday spirit? Who knows. Not me. But someone (probably women over 50) at some point (I'm guessing 1980-1994) enjoyed it, and to them I say thank you. Why? Because they've given our generation the greatest gift of the season: another excuse to party!
Yes, the Ugly Christmas Sweater has been a party-theme favorite since people realized that, well, their beloved seasonal sweaters were actually incredibly ugly (I'd say 1995). And as I make final preparations for my ugly Christmas outfit for tonight's shindig, I thought I would share my five favorite types of holiday sweater:

1) The Scene Sweater. It's like a Christmas card you can wear. Which is great for me because I always forget to send cards anyway.

2) The Hodge Podge Sweater. The one with the most Christmas crammed in is clearly the most spirited person.

3) The 3D Sweater. Covered in real live holiday flotsam. An excellent choice for the tactile person.

4) The Slight Disconnect Sweater. Santa's lassoing a cactus, or reindeer are swimming. You don't really know what's going on, but Christmas is in there somewhere.

5) The Vest & Turtleneck: A Sophisticated Sweater Alternative. Or a great choice for those who can't have just one pattern.

And this, my friends, is the choice I'm going with tonight! I will be sporting a lovely holiday vest with turtleneck, both in the 'holly' pattern. I know you're jealous. Just wait until you see my poinsettia headband.

I hope to see you all at the Harborena at 7pm in your finest holiday fashion faux pas! Remember, it's $10 at the door and it includes your skate rental!

This Thursday!

Man invented the wheel for one reason and one reason alone: roller skates.

I know what you're thinking, and I second guessed it myself, but I Googled it AND searched Wikipedia. It's true. 100%. For real. In honor of this invention, the miracle that is the ugly sweater and Christmas, we're throwing a party, nay, an extravaganza. It's appropriately titled, "Ugly Sweaters & Roller Skates Holiday Extravaganza." Pretty clever, eh?

If you'd like to attend this extravaganza (I know you do), join us at the Haborena, Thursday, December 22, from 7pm-9pm. $10. I guarantee there will be roller skates, ugly sweaters (prize for the ugliest sweater!), awesome music, food and beverages. I predict there will be laughter, falling, the Funky Chicken, the Hokey Pokey, and Chuck Norris dressed as Santa Claus. The last one was predicted by a nice, completely sane and sober, individual I encountered in a dark bar at 1am. They admitted they weren't Nostradamus but claimed to have eaten a piece of toast that matched his image - and that's good enough for me.



Anyway, I can promise it will be a good time. After the extravaganza, to celebrate the massive success of the "Ugly Sweaters & Roller Skates Holiday Extravaganza," we invite you to join us at a secret location. Hint: this location is the perfect place to encounter the kind of nice, completely sane and sober, people I mentioned earlier. Second hint: alcohol heals all roller skate related wounds and bruising. Hope to see you there!!!!

Christmas Time is Here

Are you in the Christmas spirit yet? It certainly is cold enough for it. Maybe this will warm you up.



Kris Orlowski lives in Seattle but has told me he has a lot of family in Aberdeen, so I felt he has enough Harbor street cred to get his video on this blog. You can hear more from Kris on his website www.krisorlowski.com.

And I certainly hope you are getting your Christmas sweater ready for our party next Thursday, December 22nd at the Harborena! You'll have the opportunity to meet new people and see old friends, hear some awesome tunes from a sought after house-party DJ (me), and eat some snacks! Just try not to fall down from all the excitement.



7pm to 9pm. Tickets are $10 at the door. Includes your skate rentals, snacks and beverages (of the non-alcoholic sort, but if you spike the egg nog we'll look the other way). Sorry kiddos, 21+ only. After party at a local bar (to be announced at the party).